If they weren't such a contemptible gang of shills, grifters, crackpots and assholes, one might have felt a twinge of pity for the GOP as they abandoned The Klown Kar back in 2008. They stifled a manly tear as they bade a sad adieu to what was once the most suitable mode of transport for post-war Republicans. But that was then...
And now? How they must yearn for the days when they could fit all of their most spittle-flecked, deranged candidates into a single Kar.
Of course, in 2012, after four years of the Obama presidency, the Party was twitching like a herd of meerkats on crack, picking invisible insects off their skin and generally behaving as if they were in the throes of dementia praecox.
A bus was called for. Enter, The Klown Bus. Inevitably, like The Klown Kar, the nincompoops of the GOP drove it into a ditch.
They got it back on the road but 2015 has rolled around and the Klown Bus is standing room only. Time to launch the GOP Klown Kruiser. Think a 68 ft Bertram, only filled to the gunwales with fever-dreams, spittle and bile.
However, striving for derp-supremacy means never standing still and with the GOP's latest fiasco, a whole new gaggle of dimwits, no-hopers, bottom-feeders and chicken-chokers are being inflicted on the long-suffering American people.
I give you the 'candidates' for House Speaker.
The Klown Kruiser ain't gonna cut it any more and this much is obvious:
.
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It's time to launch the GOP Klown Kargo Vessel...the Moronic Mothership, if you will.
Ideally, given the GOP's talent for disaster, they could raise the Titanic and use that.
Mind you, back in 1980, when they made a film entitled Raise The Titanic, it went to the bottom almost as fast as its namesake.
Producer Lew Grade acerbically remarked: "it would have been cheaper to lower the Atlantic".
But the symmetry would be perfect: a ship that's synonymous with disaster and a catastrophic crew of stumblebums and dimwits aboard. If the GOP muttonheads don't sail her onto an iceberg, I'll eat my laptop.
Hey...just trying to help, fellas; God knows, you need it.
